Chaos and All
Letter n°29, December 1st 2024
I’m writing to you from the train. Seat 32 (well, actually 33—some lady stole my window seat, but that’s okay. Getting out of the woods at the edge of the world is overwhelming enough without arguing with a stranger). I’m on my way to Paris. I miss the pavement, the lights, and being able to wander aimlessly at night (this one I miss the most out of all the things I loved about living in cities—concerts and museums come a close second).
The plan was to wander a lot, visit exhibitions, and try all the chai lattes the big city has to offer. But as it turns out, I now have a lot of "big girl" meetings planned with strangers and some music-making ahead. I’m not sure if I’ll find the time for aimless strolls, but I’m so excited for everything.
I’m listening to what might be my favorite album ever—I’d forgotten about it. You can listen to it with me as we make our way to our destinations.
I used to play this album in its entirety while diving deep into London’s nighttime streets, feeling like an adventurer or seeking an escape from the super fast-paced city life.
𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊
This month, I’ve been catching up with my past self—tying up loose ends and finishing what she started. I watched you receive To Dusk. That’s always my second-favorite part, after making the music itself. I was so nervous about this one, but I think I opened a new portal of self-expression while writing it. This project feels like the most honest and minimalist thing I’ve ever made.
Now the goal is to keep being as honest as I can with each song—to remember that every piece holds its own part of me. Each song doesn’t need to be everything all at once. It’s like meeting someone for dinner and wanting them to know everything about you immediately—laying all your guts on the table. That’s messy. Trust me. If you haven’t heard To Dusk yet, you can
Some lovely people participated in the To Dusk contest and created such gorgeous art over the past few weeks. I’m so grateful for them. It’s amazing to see these songs resonate with you and transform into something new through your creativity.
Outside the window, everything is foggy—it’s beautiful. Naked forests stand tall in the mist, and green fields with cows shape the horizon. I might start feeling a little train sick soon, but I’ll keep writing this letter until I can’t anymore.
This month I felt in ♥ with:
Chogiseok’s photography
cooking, even if it’s just for myself. I was never a good cook and didn’t really enjoy it. Now that I have access to the kitchen of a big empty house for myself, I find myself having fun making up vegan recipes and spending more time in the kitchen.
Vintage architectural drawings: I was looking for the plans of my grandparents’ house to give to an architect and discovered old hand-drawn plans from 1968.
I have so many ideas, and I can’t wait for you to meet the version of me that I’ve become through these new songs. I've learned so much, gained confidence, and found peace in embracing changes and endings. Digging my own path—even when it looks so different from others'—has been empowering.
I want to be honest and own my failures and darker moments because they've given me incredible strength. I want to tell a story about the infinite worlds within us—how both the light and the shadows make them beautiful; how we shouldn’t be afraid to explore those depths, to watch them shift with time, or to expand them by welcoming new people and experiences. To feel at home in our own universe, chaos and all.
I’m sending you so much love. I might be a little less present on social media for a while—I have so much work to do, and I’m terrible at being present both online and in real life at the same time.
I hope you have a wonderful end to the year. I might write again before then, but just in case...
I hope you receive flowers, support and tenderness.
G.
